Just quit. . .

A few days ago I asked people on twitter if I should write a new blog - it has been a long time since I have taken the time to sit down and just write. I received an encouraging "yes" from some of the best people I know and so. . . here I go.

Tonight I updated my facebook status -
"People will come and people will go, but you never can anticipate WHO will walk into your life - nor WHEN they walk into it. Let go of "your plans" and stop trying to control your life, just let God do His thing! He will impress you. I can promise you that." ( https://www.facebook.com/laura.klima.14 )

People always say "when you meet the right person - you just know." For a while I believed that. I just knew when I met him I'd know right away. It'd be this magical moment where I would see him, he'd come over and strike up this wonderful conversation and I would walk away saying to myself "that man will make me his wife someday." That is the dream moment. That is the moment we all dream of having and await it with constant anticipation. . .for that moment when you just know.

Reality check: that moment might not ever happen. And guess what. . . that is OKAY. Life is not this perfect dream we have envisioned for ourselves. But maybe our dream is the one that is off kilter? Maybe it is our dream that we find so ideal and perfect is actually just the opposite. Maybe the dream you have always had is, in fact, imperfect.

Our whole lives we grow up being told:
-  "there is someone perfect just for you!"
-  "there are lots of starfish in the sea"
-  "just be patient your mr./mrs.perfect will come around soon enough."
-  "when you meet him/her. . .you will just know"

But what if what you thought you wanted or needed is completely different than what God wants and knows you need for your life? Or. . .What if you change? What if you grow up a little more, suffer a tragedy and get molded into a completely different person? Your dream person alters because your life has altered.  Whatever it is that you used to want is probably not what you want nor what you need NOW. (Confusing? Re-read it then continue.)

Your version of Mr. Perfect is not my version of Mr. Perfect. Your idea of how your love story should go - is probably FAR from how it WILL go.  And guess what? That is OKAY. I have learned many times that your struggles and trials turn into someone's HOPE. You get to use your history to help write someone else's future.

To be honest, my version of perfect is possibly the most imperfect form of perfection.
. . . .does that make any sense? Our perfect little life we had "planned out" doesn't happen. Nothing is perfect. Nobody is perfect. But one man was, is and will always be - God is our perfection. He is the author of our lives, the perfecter of our faith and the only one who knows what tomorrow will bring. He is the one who will bring you your perfect match.  Notice, I didn't say your perfect person but He will bring you your perfect match, if you trust and are willing to wait on His timing. If we stop looking, if we stop pretending to be someone we are not, if we take a while and just be OKAY with being alone, if we just live - He will surprise you, my friend.

I am an imperfect person with many flaws. My heart has been broken by those I have trusted the most. My perfect plan has been demolished. My perfect man has been set free - for I know the man God has for me will knock the socks off this "perfect man" I had envisioned. My future man might come in the most opposite package I ever would have thought up. He might be messy. He might have gone through something in life just like I did. He will have a past. We all do.  He will have gone through things that will help me write my future story. He will have gone through life facing challenges that, in the end, will help write the perfect ending to his story. He will have made mistakes he wishes he could take back - but I won't let him regret them - they made him who is is. God will use all of our imperfections to help each other - if we allow Him to.

The vision I have for my life is 100% different than what is taking place and what will take place. And guess what. . . life is good. God is so good to those who wait according to His purpose and timing. He will come and alter your perfect plan. He will alter it to His perfect plan - if you just allow him to. Let go of your plan. Let go and let God.

My perfect plan will officially be the most imperfectly perfect plan I could have dreamed of. 

Beauty in the Broken

Just take a moment. Think of the worst thing that you have ever been through. The absolute worst. Whether you are the only one that knows what happened, or everyone knows what happened....think about it. Is it really the worst thing that's happened?

I really want you to think of THE worst thing EVER in your LIFE.

I'm 24 years old. I know I have a LOT of life to live. Life that I feel is going to be beautiful. I say that as tears well up in my eyes due to all the beauty that has come out of my brokenness. The thing is...most everyone who is close to me knows where I have been. They know the story. They saw the beautiful life I had waiting ahead of me as I watched the dream be crumbled right in front of my eyes. Each day got worse, each hour was harder and every cherished moment suddenly was vanishing before me - I suddenly could not see the dream I felt God had created for my life. 

THAT was the WORST thing I have ever been through. Hands down. In 24 years-that is the worst. 

Guess what?!  You know where I have been and God knew I was strong enough to go through it all.  Now, re-read that....You know where I have been and God knew I was strong enough to go through it all.  Wow. Overwhelming feelings immediately run over me. 

I knew God was with me during my struggles for those months. I was stronger than ever during the "hard time". Persevering in my faith through prayer was the only thing that kept me alive, motivated and hopeful. However...what came after being broken is what stands out to me. . . .

This has been the "hardest" part for me. What happens when the hard time is over and done with? You should breath a sigh of relief, right?!?!  You have finished your last prayer and you say "I am done with that. I am moving on. Help me move on." Let me tell you - this is exactly the hardest part of the hard part in life. 

Do not be like me and let the fact you are upset affect every part of your life. Do not...may I repeat...do NOT punish yourself for something that was completely out of your/our control. Do not stand by and let life just happen. You loose time. It goes by quickly. You only have one life to live. Live it.

So....

Let the Potter begin his process. We have to surrender. We have to say...Lord

I am in a million different pieces and I do not know which piece to pick up first. 

Should I..."renew my relationships? Try harder at finding the one? Find a new job? Pack up and move away? Leave this situation entirely? Cut off that friendship? Never speak of that hard time again? How do I move on?! How do I forgive myself for letting so much time get away? How will I ever recover from this? I can't see my future anymore."

Isaiah 64:8 "Father, you are the Potter, I am the clay - mold me into Your creation." Once we have been formed into this beautiful person and have suddenly been thrown to the ground and shattered into a million pieces...it is okay to not know which piece to pick up first. Trust me, I had no idea...I still am not sure of where my life is going...but!

There is BEAUTY IN THE BROKEN...we have to turn to God and ask HIM to rework us. Remold us. Become the clay again for Him to mold into a new person/a WHOLE person. We will never be the same because you can NEVER duplicate something exactly like it was. However, second chances are beautiful. We get to start over. We get to move on. Our second chance is to start over and move on. It may not be the dream we had envisioned in the beginning....but God promises us that if we are faithful to Him - He will be faithful to us. 

Let the brokenness be beautiful in your life. Do not only be strong DURING the hard time. Do not only be TOUGH when it is time to get over something. Let what you do after you have been broken...shattered to pieces on the floor....be the part where you start to work even harder. 

You get to start over. Let the brokenness be beautiful by showing off what you become after "the hardest thing you've ever been through." 

LOVE to you all...<3