What fears: to fall in love again, to fall not only for that person but to fall in love with that persons family, to know someone can break an engagement so easily, to know that a love can be lost, to fear the unknown of what could come, to allow someone into my life again - completely, to give every part of myself to someone, to allow them to become my husband someday especially when I already pictured someone being him.
Why do I have fears: You see, it's all scary. When a relationship becomes more than just "friends" you have to be honest, open and give yourself wholly to that person. When it's time for engagement you have to be ready to say your vows then and there. If you aren't ready, do not get engaged. When I got engaged it was like saying "I-do" right then and there. So, in a way, I almost feel like I got a divorce or my other half died. I no longer have that man in my life - and I have gotten to a place in my life where I am okay with that. I am okay with letting that relationship go and try to get re-excited about a new relationship that the Lord will lead me into.
Why fear anything when Jesus is on my side? The only way I can respond to that question is with an "AMEN!" Hallelujah that Jesus is on my side. He has taught me what I want and what I need in a relationship. He is molding the man right now - that I am suppose to be with. He did not allow that relationship to turn into a marriage because he was saving me from something I could not see yet. I thank Him for that. We have to be thankful for the trials we go through and for the lessons we learn. We have to look back and say thank you so we can move forward with Jesus. We have to communicate with Him. Tell Him what our fears are, why and lay everything at His feet.
So that's where I am at. Waiting patiently for the right man to find me. Waiting for Jesus' timing through it all. I will not try to force something nor will I go into a relationship when I am not "ready". I believe Jesus will tell and show me when I am ready. There will be no fears, no hesitation, just me being re-excited to date someone and allow them into my life.
The photo above was from pintrest - go figure! I clicked on the link and it took me to this website: http://www.stayathomesusie.com/77-super-fun-date-ideas/ - 77 Super Fun Date Ideas. This was the first thing that I saw and became re-excited to date.
I see the blessings through my last year - but I still am flabbergasted at the way things turned out. However, hindsight is 20/20 right?! Thank you Jesus for keeping my heart protected.
Blessings,
Laura K
No comments:
Post a Comment